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What it takes are these eight steps for getting command, eight steps you can apply to most any situation you want altered. You can positively influence your relationships, your employment options, and any aspect of your life. Let's look at the steps.

Define What Ails You: Ask, what's my problem? Am I a jealous weasel, troubled that others have what I want? Am I ticked off most of the time? Am I sad and whiney? Anxiety ridden? Moody? All of the above? Without this step, you're doomed. It will take personal courage, but you won't get results without identifying what ails you.

Discover the Effects: Ask, how are my problems affecting my life? Am I a lousy parent, a friendless dork, a backstabber, a slut, a drunk, a junkie? Am I none of the above, but someone who is less than I could be? This step requires absolute self-honesty, but the truth will help set you free.

Seek the Source: Ask, from where are my problems coming? Who are my real and my

"Some people can't control their actions. Such people have biological problems that affect their brain or other parts of their nervous system. This causes them to do things without their ability to control their own actions"

mental spectators? What do my mental spectators look like, say, and do? Exactly who or what is keeping me from taking command of my life? This could be one of the most incredible experiences of your life. You will look into the abyss and see who is looking back.

Identify Your Role: Ask, how am I contributing to my problems? What is my responsibility in all this? Did I decide to be a garbage disposal? Do I beat myself to death trying to please others? Do I expect things of myself that are unfair? Do I treat myself as a friend or an enemy? Do I allow my mental spectators to drive me to distraction, depression, anger, anxiety? Recognizing your role in your own problems is a positive - but scary - step toward knowing yourself and gaining personal command.

State Your Desires: Ask, what do I specifically want to do about my problems? Do I want to be a doormat, a slut, a drunk, a friendless geek? Or do I want to rule my mental spectators? Do I want to stand up to a spectator, real or imagined, who puts me down? Do I want to take command of my education, my bank account, my relationships? Until you can actually list your desires in the order of their importance, you will be a victim. However, once you do this, you are on your way to being a victor.

Seek Options: Ask, what are my options, and in what order should I place them? What is the first option I should concentrate on? The second one? The third? If you have a soul-sucking hangover most mornings, you might opt to give up your booze buddies for some real friends. Secondly, take the money you normally spend at bars and deposit it in a savings account for yourself or your kids. If, instead, you're a workaholic and you want to spend more time with your kids, then do it. Very few people on

their deathbed have said, "If I could live life all over again, I'd spend more of it at work and less with people I love." Choices are involved here, but by weighing options and alternatives, and then making personal choices, you are taking command. Do this and you'll begin to gain real power.

Learn Winning Techniques: Ask, how do I rule my real and my mental spectators? Must I collapse in a heap when they point thumbs down? How can I learn to take charge on every level and get a grip on my life? There is no "magic" involved, but you might feel as if there is. Unlike a vanquished gladiator falling at the whim of spectators, you decide your own course.

Master Your Relationships: Ask, what more can I do to master my relationships by strengthening myself and my perceptions? How do I take command right now in developing my own identification and self-worth? Congratulations! You're working on the one person in the entire world you can work on - You! And any improvements in yourself can't help but enrich your relationships with other people and the world around you.

Although this is only a brief overview of each of the eight steps for jump-starting your relationships and taking control of your life, you'd be amazed at how significant the effects of a few minor adjustments in perception can be. To take control of your life, you first need to realize that you already have control over your life. Even if you have a gun to your head, you still have a choice of being a victim or fighting back. Even in the most horrendous situations (the ones we don't dare even think about because they are too traumatic to imagine) we have a choice. You may not like your options, but you still have the control, the power to choose which option you want to take.

You Can't Control Everything: Realizing your have control can be an ego boost, as it should be, but don't start having delusions of grandeur. There are some things you can't control. You can't control the weather, the laws of nature, most bodily functions, the laws of physics, other people, and so forth. You can influence these things, and you might be able to persuade them into the direction you want, but you can't control them. You just can't do it, so stop trying, and start focusing on what you can control. This is probably the hardest part for many people, but it is actually liberating rather than limiting. By acknowledging that you don't have control of everything, you give yourself the opportunity to forgive yourself for errors. You can't control not having all the information to make wise decisions. Even if you spend your entire life researching your options, there's always a chance that a key piece of information may elude you. Likewise, it gives you the ability to forgive other persons for their errors. We each just do the best we can. You can make your best even better, though, by working toward making better choices.

Take Control of Your Choices is Taking Control of Your Life: Some people can't control their actions. Such people have biological problems that affect their brain or other parts of their nervous system. This causes them to do things without their ability to control their own actions. Sometimes they can't control their physical actions (e.g. body movements), and sometimes they can't control their thoughts (e.g. psychosis). Such disorders are rare, and it is highly unlikely that you suffer from such a disorder. If you believe that you suffer from such a disorder, please see your doctor immediately. Otherwise...You truly only have control over one thing, your actions. Actions can be physical (e.g. I kicked the ball) or mental (e.g. I assumed that she didn't like me). Some actions are habitual while others require weeks of contemplation. Both habitual and special actions are based on decisions, choices that you make. Recognize that everything you do is based on choice. You must always make a choice, always, even if you don't like any of your options. Choosing to do nothing is a choice. Choosing to walk away is a choice. Sticking it out, fighting back, taking charge, starting over, admitting defeat, and declaring victory are all choices. It is your job to do your best to choose wisely <<<<Back<<<<

 
Author: Sheila