because the husband has been unfaithful." Audrey, a family therapist concurs with Dr. Joyce. "Men tend to want to massage their egos," she says. "Women, on the other hand, tend to cheat for support, nurturing and to reinforce their own desirability. They feel neglected themselves, and they decide to get it [sex] elsewhere." Other therapists agree that many women feel they are taken for granted and viewed by their husbands simply as housekeepers, baby-sitters, errand-runners and providers of services needed for their own personal fulfillment or gratification. The women are unfulfilled sexually and emotionally. Consequently, the reason that a woman cheats has a lot to do with the man being cheated on. According to relationship experts and women themselves, the following are among the reasons women cheat:

Self-esteem boost: For various reasons, many women are emotionally needy, and they sometimes seek sex outside of marriage to confirm that they are okay, that they are beautiful and desirable, that they are sexy, that somebody loves them for the real women they are rather than for their cooking, housecleaning and child-rearing abilities. Sometimes the husband takes the wife and the marriage for granted, and she feels used. He never wants to go out for dinner or a movie. He hardly wants to talk and shows little interest in her job, her desires or her dreams. In fact, their conversations mostly revolve around home repairs and the children. A woman in such a situation is a prime candidate to seek self-assurance outside the marriage.

Emotional neglect: In today's society, there is much emphasis on achievement and accomplishment, on having prestigious commodities, such as a fabulous home and a stylish car, as well as fashionable clothes, jewelry and electronic toys. People work hard, and they play hard, so hard they often neglect their emotional lives. "By the time they get home from the job, they are used up," says family therapist Chapman. "There is no time or energy for a quality home life, so they get sex on the run, at home and otherwise. One of my clients says she occasionally gets a `hit' or what she calls a `booty call.' When you are living on the run, that's what it boils down to. Romance is removed, and the marriage becomes just a physical relationship or involvement." Many women need more than that, and sometimes they go outside the marriage to fulfill that emotional need. Another sex researcher says that "most women are having affairs because they are lonely for a more real relationship."

Revenge: The folksy bit of wisdom that declares "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned" probably had its origin in a broken marriage resulting from a husband's infidelity. When a woman finds lipstick stains on her husband's clothing or unfamiliar condoms in his pocket, it brings out the worst in her. Especially if she has been a devoted wife and mother who has sacrificed her career for the sake of her husband and family. Some women admit that they have embarked upon affairs only after their husbands confessed to or were caught in their own indiscretions. For these women, revenge is sweetest when they keep it to themselves. Dr. Joyce tells of a client who was so angry when she discovered that her husband was having an affair that she immediately purchased an expensive diamond ring and told him he had to pay for it. In retaliation, she also embarked upon an affair.

Seeking excitement: Like some men, there are women who are thrill-seekers. They love or need their husbands and wouldn't think of leaving them. But they want more than their spouses can or are willing to provide. They are tired of the monotony of monogamy, the Wednesday-night-only sex. It is a common fact that marriages grow stale after a few years, especially after the arrival of children. And if the couple doesn't make an effort to keep the thrill and excitement in their marriage, the wife just might seek that fulfillment elsewhere. "What she feels is missing from the marriage, in terms of excitement, is him acting like he is really turned on," says Chapman. "She wants her husband to feel that he can't wait to be with her, that he is glad to see her. This level of excitement is not very realistic. Most relationships, if you've been in them long enough, reach a plateau. But there are those who don't want to reach that dreaded plateau. When they feel that the marriage has reached that level, they go outside of the marriage to find that spark."....>>>>Article Continues>>>>